"Let me esplain..."

"No, there is to much...Let me sum up..."       (love me some Princess Bride!)

Hi, I'm Aliece.


I became a mom nine years ago for the first time. Two weeks before she  turned seven I had our 5th baby. (5 in 6 years!) I have given (and will always give) all I have to these amazing kids. I have found myself, as many women do, consumed by the day-to-day challenges of motherhood. I have never regretted my choice to become a mother. I thank the Lord each day for the privilege. But as I have given my all I left me behind. My health, my mind, and sometimes I feel my spirit suffers.

After graduating high school my father said, "you need to stay active." I thought he meant more along the lines of staying in shape and healthy- you know, a nice way of saying to not get fat and lazy-and though between babies and pregnancies I tried, the past few years I struggled more than I can put into words.

I found myself in and out of postpartum depression's grasp. It was dark, scary, sad and very very VERY lonely. I stopped talking to people, we didn't travel any more, I missed the sun, I became awkward around people, Lost interest quickl...no, I struggled to remember things and felt like I couldn't relate to people anymore -- and I criticized my mothering skills like no other. I could never be enough. And everyone was so busy doing their own thing I felt I wasn't significant enough to ask for help and when it got bad enough I tried, I always felt weak and stupid so I would brush it off as not a big deal and, "never mind I can handle it," then cry it out when I was finally alone.

I worked through it on my own. I'm finding my hapinesses again and Returning to the Light once more. It has been a struggle. It wasn't easy and it still isn't. It is hard to share something so personal and still fresh enough I'm holding back tears as I type. But I'm making amends; starting again. Part of the process is following my farher's advice in getting active again.

I'm turning 40 in four years and I am making my list of 40 'to-dos' to get active again. I'M Bringing ME BACK! Only better! I'm far from being in shape, flexible and full of energy. This is going to be tough and embarrassing but I need this.  And in so doing I hope to add my voice to others and helping those find their voice to come out of darkness and find happiness and activity again.

Here is to Four GREAT YEARS!